If you are out in some of London’s hippest restaurants, trendiest hotels or funky bars you might have noticed a trend that has exploded…not quite like a weekend in Mexico explosion ( a little bathroom humour) but rather the incredible detailed lavish bathrooms that in of themselves have been attracting major attention. The bathrooms have become more than a quick essential place to do one’s business they have become an Instagram hotspot, as people have posted millions of photos of London’s fabulous loos. The intense competition for the most incredible place to relieve yourself has even given way to Britain’s Loo Of The Year Award, honest it’s a thing. So you could be actually “Number One” in the number two business… so to speak.. A really good restaurant cannot sit back just on their food reputation anymore. Nope. Every bite as important now in the world of social media is buzzy interiors and that must include a fabulous, memorable trip to the loo.

So between the most Instagrammed loos in London and a little of my own personal hygiene investigation I have complied a list of …

LONDON’S MOST LAVISH & OUTRAGEOUS LOOS. Helping you take a more interesting selfie in a bathroom mirror. You’re welcome.

SKETCH

This famous Mayfair quirky restaurant is certainly Instagram worthy with its incredible pink art deco interiors, but it is the bathrooms that will blow your mind. Egg-like individual pods that remind me of an acid trip version of the movie Cocoon accompanied with an Disney-esque chirping birds soundtrack have made it the Number 1 Instagrammed Loo in the UK. These egg shaped loos actually get decorated at Easter, Christmas and during The Chelsea Flower Show in the spring, as if you need another reason to go.

9 Conduit Street, Mayfair, London W1S 2XG

Nopi

Celebrity chef and restaurateur Yotam Ottolenghi has taken the House of Mirrors one might find at an amusement park and brought it into his bathrooms at Nopi. The loos have been transformed into a hall of mirrors, all set at different angles, making for a slightly confusing bathroom visit. Seriously, I could not find my way out and that was well before the Chardonnay had kicked in. Fortunately and likely after many others did not return from the bathroom, they included a little arrow on the tiled floor to help people escape.

21-22 Warwick Street, Soho, London W1B 5NE

Aqua at The Shard, London Bridge

One of the best views of London and it is in front of a urinal???? Sad but oh so true. Thirty-one floors up The Shard, Aqua’s urinals could well have the best view of the city with floor to ceiling windows overlooking the beautiful city of London and the River Thames. Once again showing us you guys have got all the bathroom perks including no long queues although you might want to linger a little longer to take in the view. So ladies if you want to check this one out, as you know I did, just announce you are coming in. It is amazing how quickly the place will clear out especially once you start taking pictures.

The Shard, 31 St Thomas Street, London Bridge SE1 9RY

The Hunter S, Dalston

So very clearly on their website The Hunter S declares they are a “pub and not a cocktail bar.” So if you are looking for Cosmos or Pina Coladas this is not your watering hole. This is full out beer territory. So not surprising their men’s bathroom supports the theory that you do not buy beer but rather you rent it. These fantasy loos are only for the guys but as I said at The Shard, don’t let that stop you from getting a peak. The urinals are shaped as women’s lips with bright red lipstick to create a very unique space where men are certainly more likely to aim with precision. With vintage Playboy prints mounted on the wall I have got to say If they carry their pint into the loo I’m guessing some would have no reason to leave.

194 Southgate Road, Dalston, N1 3HT

Annabel’s

So this one is definitely for the girls. Annabel’s, a private members club have loos that you could truly imagine Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast At Tiffany’s applying powder to her perfect nose after Rusty Trawler gave her $50 to go the ladies room. They’re glam, girly and very, very pink. Personally I cannot imagine a prettier place to powder ones nose but you need a member to get you in.

46 Berkeley Square, Mayfair, W1J 5AT

Park Chinois

A restaurant straight out of a Baz Luhrmann film Park Chinois is likely one of the most beautiful, opulent Chinese restaurants I have ever been in. So no surprise that the bathroom would equally reflect its glamorous, lavish 1930’s decor. With its romantic lighting and rich gold, jade and burgundy interior, the bathroom is a perfectly designed for the world of Insta. Don’t forget to wash your hands in the golden swan faucet.

17 Berkeley Street, Mayfair, W1J 8EA

The Ned

One of my favourite places to go for an apple martin or a gin & tonic if I am in The City is the buzzing Ned Hotel. A fabulous converted old bank building that has the grandeur and scale of an art deco themed Grand Central Station. The bathrooms perfectly reflect the hotel’s theme rich with black and white tiles and a “kissing couch” in the middle of the loo. The bathroom attendants are dressed in crisp black uniforms with white starched aprons looking too like they have stepped out of the 1930’s. To me I’d expect to see a young Lauren Bacall applying her lipstick with one hand whilst holding her cigarette in the other.

I believe Jack Nicholson was credited with saying, “three things to remember as you get old. Never pass up a bathroom, never waste an erection and never trust a fart”. Can’t personally speak for the last two on his list but the bathroom thing…I am now all over.