So, yup, it has come to this. Sex!

With the word “sex” prominently featured in my headline, I believe I have secured your attention, at least for the moment. The real question will be, if this word “sex” lures more of you into reading this than the word “bacon”?  My last blog, the one about that fabulous fatty breakfast meat, weirdly was my most opened blog in my blogger history. Seriously, bacon!!!

And for added sexiness, I’ve featured my favourite Canadian family, The Roses from Schitt’s Creek (see photo above). Wait, er, I mean my second favourite Canadian family. Sorry Dixons in Canada.

So, let’s see if you’re interesting in sex… or bacon?

I was playing this game with a friend of mine that inspired me to write this blog, What You Can Say At Dinner That You Can Also Say During Sex. This I found entertainingly rude, like Cards Against Humanity, funny and certainly more creative than your average game of charades. 

So without further ado, here was our Chardonnay inspired list of;

What You Can Say At Dinner That You Can Also Say During Sex.

• Whoa, slow down, it’s not a race.

• You have had worse things in your mouth.

• It’s really lovely when the four of us can get together like this.

• How do you know you don’t like it if you’ve never tried it?

• Stop playing with it and just eat it.

• It tastes better with whip cream.

• I am going to need a little wine to wash this down.

• Next time we should invite the neighbours.

• Your sister does a better spread.

• It’s a bit dry.

• You have something on your chin.

• Did you enjoy that Uncle Max?

• It hasn’t risen as much as it should have. 

• I picked up that little trick from the Internet. 

• I find with whipping anything, it’s all in the wrist.

• Your brother just showed up, so it would be rude not to make room for him.

• That was nice but I still prefer Five Guys.

• Wow, that was saltier than I expected.

• Hope you don’t mind but my cousin Kate is going to join us tonight.

• This is a little something my mother taught me.

• Why are you always the last one to finish?

• Careful, don’t want you choking.

• I like it a little pink in the middle. 

• May I be excused now?

• Mmmm, moist.

• You could seriously charge big money for that.

• It would be so much more enjoyable if you would put your phone down. 

• Do you mind if I watch the game while you finish?

• If I’m to be honest, it looked better than it tasted.

• I apologize, I didn’t take it out in time.

• Is it too dry?

• I’m so happy you came.

I welcome anyone else’s suggestions, perhaps even it’s something we can play the next time we are allowed to gather around the table, maybe whist eating bacon.

Until then my friends, you are excused….and one more time…BACON!