The Mean Season… Grrrrr!!!

For those who don't know, the Mean Season is what I call that brutal time of year between American Thanksgiving and Valentine's Day. For most of the English-speaking world, we are enduring the cold, bitter elements of winter. The days are impossibly short but feel twice as long as you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark. And, for the blessed life of you, you can’t remember the last time you saw the sun. But the harsh, relentless weather is the least of it, it is merely the backdrop. With all its festive holiday parties, family gatherings and the general outpouring of love and mirth, the Mean Season is the most challenging time of the year to be single or alone.

Without question, the holiday season can be a real strain on us at the best of times; the commercial pressure of gift-giving, seeing relatives you have been successfully avoiding all year, and, for many of us, the royal pain in the ass (and stress) of holiday travel. A little planes, trains and automobiles with insufficient rum & egg nog to go around.

But if you are single or alone, the holiday season can bring into blinding focus all the things that are missing or not quite perfect in your life. Maybe you are divorced, and this is your year without your kids. Or perhaps this is your first Christmas without your mom, dad, or Grandma. Maybe you and your partner split up, or you are just feeling lonely, like crap and a little sorry for yourself because another year has gone by, and this is not where you thought you would be in your life.

The Mean Season magnifies all of that!

Millions of us are struggling through these really tough months. I personally am not with my daughters this year, and I have to be honest, it will be hard.

So, I want to share Essential Tips to Survive the Mean Season, And how you can help others to survive too.

Volunteer

Are you feeling blue, meh? Do something nice for someone else. This time of year, people are looking for help. Whether it's in a soup kitchen or food bank or doing someone's shopping for them if they have mobility issues or are just overwhelmed, there are things you could be doing to make someone's life a little easier. Shovel someone’s driveway or bake cookies and drop them off to the neighbour you see walking the dog alone. It is scientifically proven that endorphins are released when you do something nice for someone else and make you feel happy. Not just happier, but happy. This is what I would call a win: win situation.

Do Not Over Indulge

During no other time in the year are we more tempted by delicious home-baked delights, assorted chocolates, sausage rolls and fizz. And not only are they in abundance but we are socially given permission to indulge. But I am here to remind you that assault eating and day drinking are only going to make matters worse. Now I'm the last person to say a glass of wine at the end of a long day doesn't go a long way. But too much of a good thing is never a good idea. You don't want to be “that" person at the office Christmas party (you know the one). Not to mention if you are over 50 like I am, it will take you days to recover from that colossal hangover. Your recovery time, friend, is not what it once was. As we all know by now, alcohol is a depressant, so drink in moderation and ask yourself, do you really need one more of Auntie Angela's cannolis?

Schedule Little Things to Look Forward To

This might sound like a little thing, but it is an effective thing. The anticipation of something is almost like taking a happy pill. This doesn’t have to be a big event like a beach holiday, although how nice would that be? It could be having tea with an old friend or throwing a small dinner party, or simply planning a park walk with a buddy on a sunny day. I honestly find this is one of the best things you can do to lift your spirits.

Tell Someone

If you are struggling and feeling blue, tell someone. Talk to a friend, priest or rabbi, or therapist. Hell, write to me. Because what I will say to you is you are not alone. That, sure, it feels like the whole world is a black tuxedo, and you are a pair of brown shoes. But this too shall pass. Keep busy, check in with people you love and care about, and by all means, let's be kind to each other.

It’s a long, cold season, my friends and I’m not just talking about the weather. Remember, we will get through this…all of this…together.

Lots of love,

Christina

P.S. Check out my new Tiktok account here, where I talk about The Mean Season