You Want To Be Happy? Live Like a Woman Over 50

Let's talk about what I like to call the "Happiness Curve." A self-eating spiral of discontent as we pursue our God-given human right to be happy. 

It's something we all strive for in life, right? Happiness.

For most of us, happiness can look a lot like this;

  • If he only likes me back, I will be happy. 

  • If I just get that promotion, I will be happy. 

  • If I just get that house, I will be happy.

  • If I have a child, I will be happy.

  • If I could just lose ten pounds, I will be happy.

  • If my child stops leaving the lights on, I will be happy

  • If my child just got off my payroll, I will be happy. 

The list goes on…and on…and on. It's the Happiness Curve, or should I say spiral? The overly optimistic youthful dream about how much satisfaction we will get out of our future successes.

But here's the thing about that list, or lists like it, the moment you tick off one happiness box, another one slides in immediately to take its place like a Pez dispenser of infinite want and need. 

And even when sliding into our 30s and 40s, having ticked a lot of those happiness boxes; home, car, a 40-inch flat screen TV (that's for the guys) you start to realize that it's not making you as happy as you thought it might. So maybe you need new stuff. Better stuff. 

So my question is, why are we not wired to sit back and enjoy our status…our stuff?

The same ambition that made us status-hungry as we furiously ticked off the next big important thing makes us hungry for more. We don't feel the satisfaction we expected, so we keep going.

That is unless you are a woman over 50.  

If the saying is true, life begins at 40, well then I say… it blossoms at 50. So if you want to be happy, live like a woman over 50. 

  • Prioritize Yourself: After years of caring for others, it's time to put yourself first. Selfish? Maybe. Necessary? Absolutely.

  • Embrace Indifference: Who cares what others think? Not us! We have basically mastered the art of having zero fucks left to give to those that don't matter. If you don't like us, oh well.

  • The Friendship Edit: Toxic friends? Ain't nobody got time for that! We've curated our social circles to make room for our ride-or-die squad. Not all friendships are meant to last a lifetime…or even past high school.

  • Master the Art of "No": Decline that social gathering with a resounding "hell no." Your time is precious, so spend it wisely.

  • Stop Playing Fixer: You are not a one-stop shop for everyone else's problems. Newsflash – you can't fix what you didn't break. Let them adult themselves. 

  • Find Joy in Solitude: Embrace alone time. It's not just for introverts. So dance like there is no one watching (cause no one is.) 

  • Bye-Bye Guilt: Sleep in, skip breakfast-making duty, and embrace the guilt-free freedom of not having to answer to anyone but yourself.

  • Stop Wasting Time: Tick! Tok! Time is ticking, so don't waste a moment on people or things that don't spark joy. Life is too short.

  • It's Not You. It's Them: Stop taking things personally.

  • Drama Detox: Drama? Pass. We've traded chaos for calm and refuse to let trivialities disrupt our peace. Not our monkeys, not our circus.

  • Friendship Fiesta. Spend quality time with those fabulous soulmates who are there for you in the bad times, and commemorate big events by adding liquor to the ice in the good. 

  • Stop worrying. Did you know that about 95% of the stuff we worried about never happened? What will be, will be. 

  • Forgive yourself: The past is the past and can't be undone. Learn from it, forgive yourself and let it go.

  • Take Control of Happiness: Your happiness is your responsibility – not your partner's, kids', friends or dog. Ok, maybe your dog. Own it.

  • Don't Sweat The Small Stuff: Let that shit go. 

  • Embrace Minimalism. Less is more. Less clutter, more clarity. Embrace the beauty of simplicity.

  • Stay Zen: React less, live and laugh more. Filter out boring conversations and serious faces. Ask yourself, "Is this really worth my time or energy?"

Happiness is not the absence of problems. it's the ability to deal with, delete, defuse, delegate, block, unfriend, and sometimes ignore.

So sure, perhaps adulthood is not exactly how it looked like in the brochure. Errands count as going out, not to mention I am secretly thrilled when people cancel on me (I guess that is now no longer a secret). But as a woman over 50, I am not stressing. Because I am confident that I am still a badass rockstar (I whisper to myself as I climb into bed at 9:00 PM). Tired but happy.