The Mean Season: 6 Tips to Survive the Holidays When You’re Single, Sad, or Just Not Feeling Festive

Yup. It’s that time of year again.
The Mean Season.

And I am officially in a seasonal bad mood.

And, no, it’s not just me. Which is precisely why I’m writing this.

Without question, the holiday season can be a real strain at the best of times. There’s the commercial pressure of gift-giving, the aggressive calendar of festive parties, and the sudden reappearance of relatives you’ve successfully avoided since Easter. Add twinkly lights and a soundtrack of relentless cheer, and suddenly everyone’s pretending it’s magical while quietly Googling “how early is too early for wine?”

Sure, the season looks pretty. Fairy lights do their job. Tinsel sparkles. But for a lot of us, the holidays are the most challenging time of year to be single, alone, grieving, or simply not where we thought we’d be by now.

The holidays have an uncanny ability to spotlight everything that feels missing or unfinished.

Maybe you’re divorced and this is your year without the kids.
Maybe it’s your first Christmas without your mom, dad, or grandmother.
Maybe you’ve just gone through a breakup.
Or maybe another year has passed and you’re standing there thinking, Wait. This is…not the life brochure I ordered.

I call this stretch of time The Mean Season. It starts at Thanksgiving, barrels through Christmas and New Year’s, and limps toward Valentine’s Day like a hangover that refuses to leave. Short days, cold, dark weather, and the pressure to celebrate like it’s 1999 can be brutal, especially if you’re carrying grief, loneliness, or a healthy dose of holiday social anxiety. Now, don’t get me wrong. I love my solitude. I will perform deep theatrical disappointment if plans are cancelled, while simultaneously climbing into bed, pulling the duvet to my chin, and rewatching Schitt’s Creek with a glass of something fermented. Bliss.

But here’s the truth: you can only hide for so long. And if you’re going to survive this season with your sanity (mostly) intact, you need a few coping strategies in your back pocket. Think of it as group therapy, for the seasonally disgruntled, minus the circle of chairs. Cause I double-dog dare you to find one family that is not in need of therapy come January.

So, from someone who would vastly prefer a palm tree to a Douglas fir, here are six little things that actually help get you through this trying time.

The Mean Season: 6 Tips to Survive the Holidays When You’re Single, Sad, or Just Not Feeling Festive.

1. Say Yes (Even Though You Want to Say No)

Getting psyched for a Christmas party can feel about as appealing as dragging yourself to the gym in December. But say yes anyway. You don’t have to stay all night. You don’t even have to be charming. You just have to show up.

Nine times out of ten, you’ll have a better time than you expected. And if not, you can leave early with the quiet pride of someone who tried.

2. Do Something Nice for Someone Else

This one is annoyingly effective.

A small act of kindness has the inconvenient habit of making your heart swell. Drop off cookies. Share a funny meme. Buy the stranger behind you at the Starbucks a gingerbread latte. Text someone who’s also struggling. When you stop circling your own sadness for a moment, something loosens.

3. Avoid Excessive Drinking

Yes, have the wine. Have the champagne. Enjoy the hot buttered rum. Just don’t make alcohol your emotional support system. Too much will only amplify the blues and add a headache for flavor.

Moderation is festive. Regret is not.

4. Let Yourself Feel Sad (But Don’t Pitch a Tent In That Park)

Give yourself permission to feel what you’re feeling. Sadness doesn’t mean you’re failing at the holidays. It means you’re human.

That said, calm the internal dialogue. You know the one. The constant catastrophising, the inner committee of doom. Flip the breaker. Tell those mental terrorists to stand down. You don’t have to believe every thought you think.

5. Schedule Little Things to Look Forward To

This sounds small, but it’s mighty. Anticipation is practically a dose of vitamin D.

Plan tea with an old friend. Book a walk on a sunny day. Host a tiny dinner party. Even pencilling something into the calendar gives your brain proof that joy still exists and has an RSVP.

6. Tell Someone

If you’re struggling, tell someone. A friend. A therapist. A priest. A rabbi. Someone who will listen without fixing. There’s no shame in this. You are not alone, even when it feels like the whole world is dressed in a black tuxedo and you’re standing there in brown shoes wondering how this happened.

The Mean Season is long and cold, and I’m not just talking about the weather. But it does pass. It always does.

So be gentle with yourself. Check in on people you love. Let yourself laugh when you can. Cry when you need to. And remember: spring is coming, and the days will get longer, And if nothing else, just remember this, and I am channeling the eternal wisdom of icon Moira Rose here— Should the season persist in its meanness, you shall remain impeccably resplendent, and exquisitely unbroken—lest you forget your own remarkable capacity for endurance.

After all, even survival, is a form of victory.

Hang in there my friends cause bébé it’s cold outside.